Thursday, December 5, 1985

The Green Blotch Mystery

Once in a small New England town that was built along side a river, a boy of 14 named Don decided to investigate something that had been taking place for the previous week. It seemed that every morning when he when outside of his morning stretch just before dawn, he could see a greenish glow on the bank across the river. It would change its shape daily and one time a part of it seemed ot get up and walk away. Don knew that he couldn't tell just anybody about his observations but he soon had the chance to tell just the right person.

One Saturday morning as he was on his weekly jog around the neighborhood, Don passed a girl that he knew sitting on her front porch. Her name was Karen, and she was a fox. Much to his surprise she called him over.

"Hi!" She said.

"How you doin'?" Don asked as he sat down beside her.

Karen asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How come I always see you standing outside when I look out the window every morning?"

"I am just getting a breath of fresh air. Hey, how come you were looking out towards my house?" he asked sarcastically.

"Strangest thing," she replied, "I just happened to look out about a week ago and noticed this...this...greenish blotch of some kind that glowed light a Moonlighter Frisbee and it - you didn't see it did you?"

"I sure did, " Don said, "I was just about to mention it when..."

"Do you think we should check it out?" Karen interrupted.

"Sure, why not."

"Great, but how are we going to cross the river?"

"Simple. all we have to do is sneak out after dark tonight and I'll get Dad's fishing raft out of the garage," he said with a smile.

"That sounds cool, but what time?" she asked.

"Be at my back door at ten."

"Okay."

"Just be sure to dress warm," Don warned.

"I will," Karen smiled. Don was thinking how cute she looked in her braces.

"Well, I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, later."

After he had gathered all of this things, he crept outside to find Karen waiting for him with her golden blonde [sic] hair shining in the moonlight. He felt strange in the pit of his stomach as he approached her.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Uh-huh," she answered.

"Are you warm enough?"

"I should be, I only wore three pairs of sweats."

"That ought to do it," he said with a chuckle. "C'mon."

They walked over to the riverbank, inflated the raft and got in. The ride over was easy, but they would have to walk a ways to get to the "green blotch".

"Well, we're almost there, " Don informed, "it should be just over this...SHH! I just heard a noise!"

"I just heard it too!" Karen whispered.

"Scared?" asked Don.

"Yeah. Will you hold my hand?"

"Here, let's crawl up there and take a look at it, whatever it is."

The noise sounded again, and as they got closer and closer to the top of the hill it became louder and louder when...suddenly, a small fuzzy ball of green light shot over the top of the hill and sacross Karen's back, causing her to let out piercing scream. She didn't waste much time getting back to the boat, and neither did Don. They had to paddle vigorously due to the currents, but they made it over eventually.

The next day, Don asked his dad what caused the green spot. He explained that it was a patch of phosphors which glow in the dark when a light has been shined [sic] on them. The squirrel had wallowed in it and so it also glowed. As for Karen, Don talked with her all afternoon and by the end of they day, they were going together.

Friday, November 15, 1985

Three Average Men

Three average men once sat in a room;

They were all very bored, one could tell by the gloom


So one of them opted to take the chance;

The very chance that he may mess his pants!


He lifted his leg and they shout “Don’t you dare!”

Before bolting outside while gasping for air


The group came back in, and the odor remained;

Our hero was sore ‘cause his breeches were stained


Then right through the door the fellow was hurled

Cause he’d just ripped a blast that was heard ‘round the world!