O Lord, in your infinite power and wisdom, grant thy servant thy strong arm of protection from harm, thy grace to withstand temptation and trial yet humility that wouldst glorify thy name. Then above all, grant thy quickening that wouldst enable thy servant to kicketh copious amounts of "thou knowest what."
Amen; and, amen.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
You jest won't believe this. Shoot I don't believe this an' here I am a tellin' it. Tha' other day Duke flew down to Hot Lanta – that's in Georgia, y'all – and met up with THE finest peach they ever plucked from one a 'em there groves. She and I go back a ways, and come to find out she went thru a rough patch in the past couple-ten years with a feller she never could pin down. Guess she finally called it quits an' moved on, glad to say she's doin' fine and dandy for it all now. So we sit down for some a those root beer floats and talk about it. Guess it got messy cuz they'd moved in and all, same bank account, you name it. After a while I had to ask, now, darlin', is this dude still a wearin' his entrails or did ya get those in bronze? She looks me in the eye and says, I reckon, right there on my night stand. Well I took a sip right then an' pretty near gave this gal a sarsaparilla shower, the way she turned it around like 'at. All the same it got me to thinkin' how some boys like to play with toys rather than girls, some just wanna play with as many girls as they can, and others, well, they just don' play at all. She'll put up with it for a while but then watch out. Hear what the Duke says. Seems the Lord had it right with that there Love thy neighbor. A feller's gotta ask for him self, is she, I say, is SHE my neighbor? Duke out.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
I had just lay down for a rest when I realized that I had company. The kind of company that buzzes around the room. And this was no ordinary fly. Newww...this one seems to be equipped with an extra loud buzzer, the kind you can hear three rooms away. I found this out after trying to zone in on it with a swatter, only to realize that, at times, I was at the opposite end of the house. Then I see it going into the bedroom so I go in there and shut the door. Silence. After about a minute I resign to the probability that it had not actually come into the bedroom and that I had merely trapped myself away from the fly. So, I exit bedroom, closing door behind me, and proceed to corner it in living room. It was then that I realized the silliness of the situation: how God's created order allows for a being one thousandth my size to so easily evade my wrath. My eyes are not strong enough to track its path and my reflexes no where near quick enough to swat it in mid air and my energy is no where near what it takes to pursue it for long. So, I give up. Once again, I am humbled; this time, by a comparably insignificant creature. Eventually, however, I killed it. Just had to remember that flies are suckers for a slightly-open window pane, even if there's a screen waiting to trap them in once it's shut...