Monday, September 30, 2013

diet tribe

Hello sinners, bad spellers of the world, UNTIE! It's time for this spelling bee to buzz the hive and honey get a load of these biscuits, you know, get some from the chicken vendor at the K and share with your girlfriend while the bases are loaded, no balls and two strikes (0uch), but at least you don't need a license to line drive, just a sound mind, like a last will and testament, New Testament is preferred but "used" will be fine too, and by the way they get their bats from Looseyville, then we'll head down 65 for some pickin' and grinnin at the Opry, and while we're there, take a swig of some corn squeezin's from grandad's still, white lightnin', sour mash hot mouth rot-gut whiskey, for automotive use only 'cuz they used an old radiator, but our radiator's fine so we'll head across to the Smoky hills, on past Dolly Forge and the family style meals, pass the collard greens and so-so Elvis impressions and just get lost, you know, so we can find ourselves, but if it turns out you still can't find yourself just grab someone's GPS, just be sure to to ask first, and say please, because manners are a lost art, but I don't mind them, as a wise old dead sage once said, wherever we go, there we are, which reminds me, there used to be folks in GeoCities but now the broken links are becoming collector's items, oh how people laugh at me for collecting dust, but I can't help it, maybe I need help. Will you help me? PLEASE? And I'll even leave a post on your wall, "Just wanted to say thanks for a wonderful weekend without sex."

Friday, September 27, 2013

musing on childhood impressions once more...

To take grownup church to an Orwellian end you really just need a building with a sign reading REPENTANCE CENTER. Inside there's a rather stern looking gentleman at a desk and you WILL repent.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013