haiku

sitting in training
tap out haiku on palm to
keep from losing mind

afraid of squirrels
might come into my house and
try to bite my toes

saturday morning
should be cartoons and football
this is so surreal

dry erase markers
one whiff while writing does it
boy o boy o boy

drank too much water
now my eyeballs are floating
it squirts out my ears

how am i to learn
when all the lessons before me
are so obvious

Lord let me thank you
for bringing me here though I
don't know why You did

four hundred thousand
has one four and five zeros
plus that ol' comma

how i love to drink
decaffeinated coffee
soothes my whole body

jug of ice water
poured down my back stings like fire
you will pay for this

a pocket of gas
worked its way through me and left
where'd everyone go?

water falling in water
makes many bubbles
so does farting in bathtub

wind rustles through tree
but I just wish that my poor
kite could say the same.

if you feel depressed
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when wind is broken
can only repair it with
spraying of lysol.

Very Poor Pseudo-Scandinavian Mythology Composed Mainly While Driving Home From Work

And so Skül held his hands to the sky and cursed the day he was born, for he knew that the spirit of HASBLAAD was messing with his mind.  Oh how he longed for times past when he could climb the mountain and find Rebl sitting there with her long blonde hair flowing down the mountain side, a distance of about 137 feet, where it is washed and dried repeatedly by vixens in the brook.