the recluse

A recluse lies beneath the stars and ponders.

He surmises, "so if I understand this correctly...for the most part...a woman is fulfilled by relationships...and togetherness...being appreciated...by a sincere man she really admires...who can make her feel secure and loved. She likes pretty things and laughing with friends and probably wants children...someday."

He figures, "well, I try to at least listen to her."

He continues, "but she's not really into machines and what they can accomplish...nor how fast nor how efficiently they can accomplish it...nor the feeling of rocking out with a magnitude that could instantaneously consume a small forest...and she really only sees these things as even marginally worthwhile when they happen to meet her immediate needs."

He adds, "however, more often than not she seems to be eager to listen."

He lies there for a while longer, just gazing into the vast and twinkling heavens.

He winces, and thinks, "and even if she were into all these things...would I even then appreciate her?"

He concludes, "what a sad, lonely world in which we live."

Then the recluse goes to sleep.

in a word...ehh

It's raining. Been raining since the wee hours of the morning the news said and so we came to the library. I didn't really want to come but Mom and Dad got my little brother all excited about picking out colorful bookies and so he finds the need to run and remind me every two minutes as I'm getting ready. Kids. But I guess I never really got into reading except when they had me do a book report at school. I found a couple good stories about race car drivers and then there were a couple about space travel. Actually one of those told about some futuristic colony on the moon where people lived under a big glass dome like when they cook a duck real fancy. But these two boys find a way to this hidden cave and there's a giant plant in there that produces food and plays music. They were complaining cuz it played jazz and they preferred classical. But there was this guy who had stumbled into the cave like 100 years before and the plant kept him alive but wouldn't let him leave. Kinda like when I have to stay at the neighbors when Mom and Dad leave town. Anyway I'm just sitting here in the reading room cuz I have nothing to do. Dad is over there with the newspaper rack looking up how much his old coins are worth. And I'm sure Mom's chasing my brother around as he goes spasoid over all the bookies. Isn't there some kind of shot they can give that little freak? At any rate I'm looking out the window at the rock garden. There's a plaque on the opposite side telling which local billionaire paid for it all. But it looks really neat on a gray day with the rain beating against the trees and bushes. Makes the evergreens look all the greener, deep deep green. It's sad in a way but makes me happy too; makes me think of neat things I wouldn't have otherwise. I guess. Makes me long for that kind of music that fits a rainy day where the guy plays the piano - but not like at church - and the drummer uses brushes with the pssh-pssh tsssss sound. I could go check out records downstairs but it might take me weeks to find the sound since I don't know what I'm looking for. Oh well, I'd rather just sit here some more and try to figure it out for the next five years till we go home. Or, maybe I just don't feel like getting up.

by MLS May 31 2005

Duke Fabulous Reporting

As my deddy likes too say, I ain't never seen the beet. At least that's what it always sounded like. Any-THEE-howw how I was I say I was out workin on the car the other afternoon when this pretty little gal saunters up outta just about nowhere. She sat down and she looked like she had somethin there on her mind so I says I say now darlin' you look like you got somethin to say. So she revolutes her eyes around a bit and says she say Duke...now, now Duke...I don know, sometimes I have time to think that there just might be somethin the wrawwwwng with you. Said it just like that drawd out tha wrawwwwwwng. So I pauses and thinks a minute about that and I say I says well now darlin' that may just be but, just for now, I do believe I'm just gonna let history to decide on that. Now, hear what the Duke says. Some folk'll put you in a box sure as money don't grow on trees, and it's up to YOU as to whether or not they get away with it. Duke out.

A sinus-induced REVELATION

SCIENCE teaches us that there are two electrodes in the flow of electric current, namely, anode and the cathode. Yet after much thought and not a few merry giggles I concede that there is yet another. I have overdubbed this phenomenal discovery as the Zenode, the applications for which are sure to astound even the most innocent of bystanders. In your picture tube, for insistence, there is a beam of electrons forming a cathode ray which stimulates a phosphorescent screen after passing by the anode plate. This very predicament has entertained seventy people for over millions of years. However, I consent that the induction of a Zenode will allow the viewer to see in THREE DIMENSIONS, plus, he or she will be able to smell. It. Smell it. The person will be able to smell it. I say. So I welcome your confounded curiosity into this most appraising development and I am certain that it will vastly enthrall the lives of many lives. Thank you for this message.

File under E-EDUTAINMENT.