in no sense

regurgitated streams
from that sweet little mouth
s-o-b's and g-d's
will he ever regret?
breaking m-maw's heart
how could he know
as she spends a moment alone
equine tears from bovine eyes
at once precious and profane
unprotectable
as a blow to the ear
broadside

this salty world

*sigh*

fresh as ever

verbatim

When something comes out of nowhere

whenever you see that person's face

you look away

am I offended?

or did I not want to offend?

the image burns in your mind in life

haunts like a ghost in your quiet moments

presence that's not only unwelcome but unsettling

what did I do wrong?

do you want me to change?

Words can't express the frustration

What the f do you want man?

what gives?

Then finally

after what seems like eternity

even just an ordinary person among everyone else...

Who is that face??

sage

children

boast retorts

yet find themselves

devoid of inquiry

quick to mock

that which we do not

or

can not

comprehend

sardonic voices

raised

rehearsing former glory

resonate throughout

some cold cavernous

mold

that only you

have the power

to break

what

do you fear?

the unknown

outside

perish the thought

of parents

even

unlikely heroes

tumbling

in their caskets

to guard unceasingly

that sole remnant shard

of innocence

inside

lest we smash to bits

rend asunder

the one

who gave us wisdom

and

faculties of

reason

in the beginning

uprising

a borrowed shortwave rig with a broken dial string sings beijing's denial

in the wild wild west escape club prepares us for the 90s

girls look and taste like a corner store in the mall called pasta

still the 80s are in full blossom

guys sport haircuts we now wish pictures could lie about

and true freedom of thought bears a price tag in any age

we met last year and if only i could admit that it went to seed months ago

countless college mailings become buried in dust beyond the foot of my bed

didn't have her own sense of security so why not steal mine?

people my age were getting married in the newspaper already

started my first part time job which she probably found threatening

some dude staying down the street from her could bust moves like the new kids

any anecdote i tell that involves another female is hijacked by interrogation

she bleached her hair out of concern that people would think we're siblings

if i couldn't keep a date there was hell to pay

the slender blonds she works with may just as well soar among the stars

on the phone i learn first hand that she's a year younger than i had thought

you get what you get when you dive blind

we actually had a good time watching batman with my visiting cousin

yet on many a sultry afternoon i find her cool as an unearthed potato

my fledgling mustache would have been pathetic if it weren't so pitiful

some of us don't really experience life

evidently my family was too perfect for her to be comfortable around

so dancing boy whimsically fell short down there which makes it ok?

she went to a party where they all got quiet during stairway to heaven

instead we just observe others when we manage to crawl out of our grub hole

then one determined act of defiance was all i needed

well maybe two

if you count the time i called on a neighbor

seems the brother of one of my classmates snagged a piece of the berlin wall

and a flippant middle finger got me chased across the parking lot after work

on my 18th birthday

but permeating all this was a rare distant mood

beckoning eventide luminescence

hopeful and savory

anything is possible

at night the radio picks up worldwide rock from new orleans

seniors cut in the lunch line

because we can

a transfer student and pastor's son joins me in crooning some elvis

aqua-netted underclass hotties hit me up for change

love shack bayyyyy beeeee

time to live a little

or maybe

a lot

En La Isla Del Presidente

thanks to a broken down bel air

and distracted thugs

taking cover in some forgotten brush

at the edge of a cane field

strangely

i am not even startled

by desperate gasping

from deep within

tangled sinewy foliage

just a few steps away

supporting yourself with a bamboo tree

as though you had also

just arrived

Competition IV

Fireworks had been the best ever and there we lie, elbow length apart, on a blanket spread across my hood and windshield. One or two tailgate parties raged on in the distance, but our little world was our own. The air had just a whiff of leftover mugginess, mixed with the sweetness of nearby cornfields, from when a brief squall made us wonder if they'd have to postpone, leaving in its wake a perfect view of constellations that perplex the ages.

After I picked her up at the barn we grabbed sandwiches then took our time finding a spot even though the lot was far from crowded. As the evening progressed the words were increasingly sparse, and somehow, I sensed, just as irrelevant.

I take a deep breath. Right on cue she answers with one that couldn't have been more mocking from a seasoned comedienne. As I look her way with raised eyebrows I'm met with that smile that has a way of answering the present question while raising a thousand more all at once.

"Shall I yawn now?"

"Are you tired?" she replies, eyes ablaze.

I look away and take another deep breath, straining with every fiber to keep it together. Something is different tonight. Whatever it may be, it's throwing me off, but I keep telling myself it's worth the risk of staying on course. I smile.

She turns her head away with nothing to look at but a starry patch of black. Her breath this time is filled with consternation, a gale-force sigh.

"Look, just so you don't have to worry, there is no way we're falling for each other," she asserts with arms folded.

"Ohhhhh kayyy" I reluctantly offer, refusing to leave her stranded.

"I mean, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page and all."

"Right." My grin starts to encore, adding, "I mean...I've been doing everything I possibly can to keep that from happening."

The forced silence that followed simply could not survive. Impossible to say who started laughing first. Eventually the mutual peripheral surveillance gives way to an exchange of relieved, wistful smiles.

I glance away with, "Aren't we a couple of dipshits."

We cover our mouths as kids giggling in church. At some point she reaches out to the sky for a handshake, "Nice to meet you, we're the Dipshits!" It's a wonder we didn't roll onto the ground, but that would have been all right, so deliciously lost, you might say, in on the joke.

is it just me, or

she is not someone you meet

she's visually striking, but her beauty is revealed over time, as the elements sculpt the side of a marble cliff

she has mostly male friends, even when she's married, none of which can ever tell where things stand

she'll share a double room with you during an overnight trip, then after she takes a really long bath you awake to find her curled up at your side

she'll ride with you into the sunset till the road ends and then hop the next plane

she re-creates her family in whatever circle she finds herself

she is her own time and space and a world your dreams can only wish they were set in

she's the cashews in your chex mix - edible without them, but what's the point?

she is distant all evening and then sings haunting, wordless medieval chants as you make love

she's a guilty pleasure in that you hopelessly adore her in spite of yourself

she is almost as good of a friend as she is inspiring, yet at times, even more so

she's the risk you can't afford not to take

she forms relationships from her own mold, which if you manage to break, she'll quietly, albeit somewhat reluctantly, savor it in hear heart forever

she's a figment of your imagination even as she stands right in front of you

she perpetually keeps you within inches of the most horrendous mess you could ever find yourself in

she is wonderfully, wonderfully imperfect and may just admit it if you stick around long enough

she's a girl on the inside, obviously, but one who's unabashed sweetness sneaks up on you, making you wonder why you ever doubted her

she is someone you experience